<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Definitely not a date by Nookirby</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25199560">Definitely not a date</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nookirby/pseuds/Nookirby'>Nookirby</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dead To Me (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, also this is like after s3 or like after all this crime shit is resolved, christopher definitely knows, it be wildin, jen is jealous, jens crushing on judy as we all know</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:47:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,413</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25199560</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nookirby/pseuds/Nookirby</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jen asks Judy to be her date to a work party, but the word date could have many meanings in this situation, and Jen is just hoping that Judy can read between the lines.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Judy Hale/Jen Harding</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>158</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Definitely not a date</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"So are you coming to the anniversary party?" Christopher barged into Jen's office practically shaking with anticipation.</p><p> </p><p>"It's almost mandatory, so as always I'll come for the booze."</p><p> </p><p>"You bringing a date?"</p><p> </p><p>"Why would I bring a date?" The blonde asked back defensively</p><p> </p><p>"Well I thought Judy might be interested in coming to a party? She seems like a fun gal." Christopher was grinning knowingly and Jen hated it.</p><p> </p><p>"Don't you think that would send people the wrong message?" Jen raised her eyebrow.</p><p> </p><p>"The people being Judy and the wrong message being? That it's a date? Which it could be if you weren't such a pussy."</p><p> </p><p>"Shut the fuck up Christopher." Jen felt like burying herself alive, just so that no one could witness the tint of redness making an appearance across her cheeks. Especially Christopher, who had that know-it-all grin on his face that she wished she could punch away. But Christopher wasn't really very effective in a fight so it would feel unfair.</p><p> </p><p>"Come on." Christopher didn't seem at all affected by Jen's outburst and just continued along. "The fucking mafia shit is over and you guys are safe, don't you want to allow yourself some happiness every once in a while?"</p><p> </p><p>"No. I really have a lot of work in my hands right now because frankly Lorna is being a fucking bitch, so do you mind closing the door on your way out. I don't like distractions."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm pretty sure work is a distraction." Christopher pointed out, but the annoyance in Jen's voice convinced him to  not pick a fight about this right now.</p><p> </p><p>As soon as the door was closed, Jen put all her concentration into her work, or tried at least. It wasn't very easy when thoughts of Judy kept popping up every once in a while.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>Jen got home late, having lost track of time when she had finally been able to concentrate on the tasks at hand, and she was greeted by the sound of laughter as soon as she walked through the door. She stood there for a moment, taking it all in. Home felt like home again now that Judy was here. In fact it had never really felt like home before not like this. It wasn't a place Jen missed, not until Judy. Now she couldn't wait to get back and be greeted with the warm laughter and content smiles, hugs and sometimes a kiss from Judy, which really added to the illusion that they were a real family. It wasn't a kiss on the mouth but kiss non the less and it definitely carried more emotion and love than any act of tenderness that Ted had committed to.</p><p> </p><p>She walked to the dining room and had just a few seconds of admiring what felt like very afar just how wonderful and special her family is, before being noticed.</p><p> </p><p>"Mom!" Henry jumped up to run into her arms.</p><p> </p><p>"Sorry I was late." Jen apologized more to Judy than the boys who seemed to just be happy to have her home.</p><p> </p><p>"It's alright." Judy got up as well to give Jen a warm hug, and Jen still could feel the anticipation building up after all this time. Before Judy it never really was a big deal when she got home, she perhaps walked by the boys rooms to say hi before retreating to continue working from home. Now it felt like the peak of her day, getting home to her family.</p><p> </p><p>Judy wrapped her arms around Jen's waist and gave her cheek a quick kiss before walking right past her to get her a plate. She always did this. Just left her on her own to deal with the aftermath of these acts of immense tenderness. Perhaps to Judy they weren't anything unusual but they carried a lot of weight for Jen.</p><p> </p><p>That night in bed, because naturally the two women shared a bed like all good friends do, Jen was being unusually quiet, and Judy confronted her about it pretty quickly, not really giving Jen a chance to consider the party that was coming up and how inviting Judy would seem in the context of their relationship right now, which was already bordering on a romantic one.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"You okay?" Judy lifted up her head from her book after glancing at Jen's silent stoism repeatedly.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah I'm fine." Jen just said, not even looking at Judy. She knew the other woman was still waiting for a proper answer so she slowly turned to the brunette. "It's just... there's this party at work on friday. It's an annual thing, Lorna wants to get everyone together every year and doesn’t really give us an option not to go. There's free alcohol so there's that. And Christopher is taking his boyfriend as his date...." Jen stopped right after saying that realizing that by inviting Judy after having compared this to Christopher inviting his boyfriend she would be insinuating that Judy was her girlfriend. " I was just thinking maybe you'd like to come. I mean you would probably enjoy any party a whole lot more than me to be honest."</p><p> </p><p>"I would love to go." Judy seemed genuinely excited about it. "What about the boys?"</p><p> </p><p>"We can get Karen to babysit them or put an ad on gregslist or something."</p><p> </p><p>"I would much rather pay Karen enough that she can't say no than give our children to a stranger." Judy' face gave away just for a moment that her slip up of saying our children, caused her to believe that Jen would correct her. Despite noticing it, Jen didn't mention it, as she had no reason to disagree with it. They were just as much Judy's kids as hers by now.</p><p> </p><p>"Fair enough."</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>On Friday, Karen came to babysit the boys, despite Charlie saying repeatedly that he didn’t need a babysitter. Jen was waiting downstairs for Judy to get ready, with a glass  of wine keeping her company. She was already wearing her very old pantsuit she had easily decided on, as making an effort for Lorna didn't really sit well with her. Then again she didn't quite expect Judy to be making an effort, so now she felt slightly underdressed. But they weren't a couple so it wasn't the end of the world if they weren’t in matching outfits.</p><p> </p><p>"Ready to go?" Judys head popped up in the doorway, and once Jen could see her in her dress, she really was a goner. It was a fairly simple red dress but it felt suddenly way too short, mainly because it was making Jen's eyes wonder to places she really felt weren’t for her to gaze at. She got up quickly.</p><p> </p><p>"You look good." Jen said whilst simultaneously clearing her throat and refusing to quite look at Judy, concentrating on the empty wine glass instead.</p><p> </p><p>"Thank you." Jen could feel the warmth of Judy's smile on her back like the rays of sun, spreading quickly over her cheeks in the form of a blush. "I wanted to try something new. I'm guessing it's a pretty fancy party if Lorna is throwing it."</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah well, I don't really care about reaching Lorna's standards anyways so you didn't have to do all that." Jen was very convincingly trying find the dishwasher in her own kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>"Well I didn't dress up for Lorna I dressed up for you." And with that Jen was fighting the urge to just lay down on the floor to breathe heavily. "You invited me so I wanted to put in some effort."</p><p> </p><p>"I appreciate that." The glass was finally in the wash, and Jen looked up at Judy who was looking at her feet as she straightened her dress out a bit. "It looks really beautiful." Judy looked up with a smile.</p><p> </p><p>"Thank you, Jen. Shall we go?" Judy offered Jen her hand and led her out of the kitchen. Before they had a chance to get out, Karen ran to the door.</p><p> </p><p>"Have a good night! I hope your date won't be ruined by the rain tonight." Karen's expressions were as chipper as always.</p><p> </p><p>"I..." Jen swallowed, avoiding Judy's gaze that was boring into her side. "The party is inside, we will be fine. We should go now so that we won't be late."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh of course! See ya later!"</p><p> </p><p>"Thank you for looking after the boys!" Judy managed to exclaim her gratitude before Jen closed the door behind them.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>In the car, Jen was thinking about how she hadn’t corrected Karen about how this isn't a date, and now she and possibly Judy were under the assumption that this was. And it wasn't, so Jen should speak up about it. But if Judy had not mentioned it, maybe she hadn't paid attention to it? Regardless, Jen couldn't stand the silence.</p><p> </p><p>"Kind of weird that Karen thought this was a date?" Jen said way more stiffly and awkwardly than she intended to.</p><p> </p><p>"Huh?" Judy turned to her from the window, and now Jen was speechless again.</p><p> </p><p>"I... just that...." Jen looked back at the road ahead of them. "Karen thought we were going on a date, that's kind of out of nowhere." Jen let out a chuckle that failed to hide her discomfort.</p><p> </p><p>"I mean we live together. I get why she would assume that." Judy just replied, her voice unreadable.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah I mean of course. You're right." Jen just shrugged, glancing quickly at Judy who was looking out of the window. The conversation was over probably, but Jen didn't feel like she got her point across. She just let it go anyways, not wanting to press on the subject too much.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>Once at the party, Jen got some mingling to do, so Judy gladly retreated to the side to get herself some snacks.</p><p> </p><p>"You brought a date after all!" Christopher swooped in as soon as Jen had finished talking with some bore of a coworker.</p><p> </p><p>"No. No. Not a date. I brought Judy as a friend."</p><p> </p><p>"Did you now?" Christopher raised an eyebrow pointedly and gave her a suggestive smirk. "Because I could swear you two were holding hands when you walked in."</p><p> </p><p>"I..." Jen felt herself getting red again both out of anger and embarrassment.</p><p> </p><p>Christopher glanced behind Jen and the blonde was starting to get confused about what was so interesting behind her.</p><p> </p><p>"Maybe it's good you aren't on a date after all."</p><p> </p><p>"Why the sudden change of mind?"</p><p> </p><p>"Because Simon the secretary seems to be getting real cosy with Judy by the bar."</p><p> </p><p>"What?" Jen turned around immediately, her eyes meeting the sight of fucking  Simon making Judy laugh as he brushed over the brunette's arm with his fingers. Jen turned away, feeling, as cliche as it sounds, a bit heartbroken. There was a pain in her chest as she put on a brave face and met Christophers pitiful eyes. "Like you said, it's not a date so... it's fine."</p><p> </p><p>"God you're clearly not fine. And Simon is really fucking annoying."</p><p> </p><p>"So is Judy sometimes. Maybe they are a perfect match after all."</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah but when Simon is annoying you want to punch him and when Judy is annoying you want to... I don't know with you anymore... kiss her? So maybe go get those off your to-do list and report back to me."</p><p> </p><p>"Shut up, Christopher." Jen said but was seriously considering at least one of those options in her head.</p><p> </p><p>"He left."</p><p> </p><p>"What?" Jen turned back around, who would just leave a beautiful woman like Judy alone by the bar. The guy was an idiot.</p><p> </p><p>"But he left his drink behind and Judy is still sitting there so he's probably just going for a cigarette or the restroom or something. Go chat her up." Christopher pushed her lightly towards Judy.</p><p> </p><p>"What? No!"</p><p> </p><p>"Come on just go talk shit about Simon. You know how to do that."</p><p> </p><p>"I..."</p><p> </p><p>"Drag him to the ground!"</p><p> </p><p>And without another word Jen walked up to Judy.</p><p> </p><p>She took a seat right next to her, the brunette turning to Jen, most likely assuming that Simon was back. She didn't seem too disappointed that it was Jen.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey." Jen said awkwardly, hoping that her vocabulary would magically get better by the end of this conversation.</p><p> </p><p>"Hi. You having a good night?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah." Jen lied, as if she could be enjoying herself when someone else was flirting with Judy. "I don't even have to ask whether you are, you and Simon seem to be getting along well." Jen just stated, trying to keep judgement from her comment.</p><p> </p><p>"He's pretty great." Judy nodded.</p><p> </p><p>" Isn't he kind of...."</p><p> </p><p>"Kind of what?"</p><p> </p><p>"Annoying? You know? Pretentious?"</p><p> </p><p>"Oh... he seems like a nice person to me." And of course he would, momentarily in her fit of jealousy she forgot that Judy loves every single fucking person on this earth.</p><p> </p><p>"I don't really think he's the guy for you though?" Jen was losing her subtlety. "I mean he's so whiny and loud.. he really seems like the kind of guy who cries after sex or something." Jen chuckled a bit to cover how hard she was trying.</p><p> </p><p>"What's wrong with crying after sex? I think people who aren't afraid to be vulnerable are very attractive." Judy pointed out, sipping her drink.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah. Yeah of course. You would." Jen felt kind of defeated. Maybe Judy liked whiny, pretentious rich kids. Judy was looking behind Jen and the blonde knew that Simon was coming back to reclaim his seat. "I guess I'll get back to mingling before Lorna get's mad." Judy was about to object, but Simon quickly took Jen's place and was already starting up a new conversation.</p><p> </p><p>"So how did it go?" Christopher had been watching the scene eagerly from afar and already knew to expect bad news.</p><p> </p><p>"How’d you fucking think it went?" Jen spat before grabbing a drink from the table next to Christopher. "I said that he looks like the kind of guy who cries after sex."</p><p> </p><p>"Why'd you say that for? Judy is a pisces." Christopher slapped his face, genuinely disappointed.</p><p> </p><p>"I don't fucking know! And her being a pisces has nothing to do with this, stop bringing it up." Jen spat out, she fucking hated horoscopes.</p><p> </p><p>"Just trying to help you here."</p><p> </p><p>"She said theres nothing wrong with being in touch with your emotions and that she finds it attractive."</p><p> </p><p>"Well then you really have no chance huh?" Christopher gave her an apologetic look.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey!" The blonde exclaimed.</p><p> </p><p>"Well sorry for being honest but it took me 3 years to find out that you had kids. And even then I only found out because I overheard Lorna talking about them."</p><p> </p><p>"Come on, I would have told you eventually."</p><p> </p><p>"No you wouldn’t have."</p><p> </p><p>"In a few years maybe. I just like privacy okay. This is a work place not a chatroom." Jen pointed out.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah my point stands. You really gotta give Judy something to work with and its gotta be a lot more than that because you guys have somehow in a year skipped all the levels of friendship that I’ll never even reach. She’s gotta believe by the end of the night that you start bawling after sex.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s not true! I don’t cry after sex.” Jen chimed in defensively.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t? Cause you kinda seem like the type.” Christopher teased her.</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck you.”</p><p> </p><p>“And I don’t mean you giving Ted a hand job before bed, I mean the tender gay experience thats  waiting for you with Judy.” Jen rolled her eyes at Christopher’s childishness.</p><p> </p><p>“Well you wouldn’t find out anyways.”</p><p> </p><p>“Judy will tell me.” Christopher replied.</p><p> </p><p>“I will threaten her not to.”</p><p> </p><p>“Jen, she’s literally the only person who isn’t afraid of you. She’s the boss of you, just face it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Just shut up okay? This isn’t helping with the problem.” Jen groaned.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh so now you’re admitting there’s a problem? Just say the words, and I’m your wingman.”</p><p> </p><p>“Please?” There wasn’t a bit of genuinety  in Jen’s voice.</p><p> </p><p>“No. That’s not what I’m looking for.” The man  just shook his head, hands crossed across his chest.</p><p> </p><p>“ I really like Judy, okay, so please help me out with this.” Jen mumbled as quietly as she could, but seeing Christopher’s smile, she knew he had heard enough.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s my girl.” Christopher was finally content. “Just be honest with her. That’s vulnerable. Don’t just show her you care, be upfront about it.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s your big fucking wingman advice? Tell her I like her?” Jen was annoyed, this was not what she wanted to hear</p><p> </p><p>“I mean yeah? She knows you and that’s the ultimate act of vulnerability. Don’t be afraid to shed a tear when you talk about how much she means to you.” Christopher joked.</p><p> </p><p>“Christopher!”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not gonna fucking do that. Are you kidding me?”</p><p> </p><p>“No. Just feel it out. Talk to her.” Christopher started turning her around to push her towards Judy. “ And try to be nice, no bullshit.”</p><p> </p><p>“She’s talking to Simon.” Jen looked at Judy longingly, as she laughed with Simon, about something undoubtedly stupid and annoying. “I can’t just jump in.”</p><p> </p><p>“Since when are you afraid to cut Simon off?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t want Judy to think I’m a jerk alright?” Jen admitted, feeling almost ashamed.</p><p> </p><p>"You're in deep."</p><p> </p><p>"Don't remind me."</p><p> </p><p>"Just take your time and play nice, talk to people, have several drinks, and when Judy is alone, start a conversation."Christopher offered.</p><p> </p><p>"What the fuck do I say?" Jen was pretty much pacing around by now, nervously awaiting whatever messy situation was to come. She really wasn’t good with this stuff.</p><p> </p><p>" I don't know what you guys talk about! Just try to be normal and try to ease into the love confession."</p><p> </p><p>"No love confessions, I'll just tell her I care about her."</p><p> </p><p>"Whatever you want but Simon is out there shooting his shot so you better go in hard." Christopher pointed out, getting frustrated with Jen’s refusal to just accept and face her feelings at once.</p><p> </p><p>"Fuck you're right."</p><p> </p><p>Jen did her best to not look like she was stalking Judy and Simon too much, and tried to concentrate her energy on speaking with all the annoying rich people Lorna had invited instead. It was definitely boring and making her feel like she was going to nap, but her heart wasn’t breaking through every second of it, so it felt superior to any activity that had anything to do with Judy. After some drinks and finally stopping her tour around the party to stop and chat with Christopher, she noticed Judy standing alone from the corner of her eye. She looked over at the woman, who was swinging a bit to the posh music that added to the pretentious atmosphere, and Judy hadn't noticed her looking, so Jen took a shot (that based on Christophers reaction wasn't hers) and she headed across the room to a lonesome Judy.</p><p> </p><p>"Hi. How you doing?" Jen slid right next to Judy, and leaned against the wall in a manner that she hoped would look cool and collected enough from the outside, despite feeling awkward.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey." Judy smiled instantly, turning to the blonde. "Free drinks. So I'm fantastic." Judy grinned sleepily, clearly just as exhausted of this party as Jen was.</p><p> </p><p>"Read my mind." Jen laughed.</p><p> </p><p>"How about you?"</p><p> </p><p>"Well this party fucking sucks." Jen looked at her feet, already knowing she was now heading towards something she didn't quite know how to handle. " But at least I'm in good company so..." She glanced at Judy shyly, her nervousness turning into a small glimpse of joy and excitement as the smile grew on her face at the sight of Judy's bright beaming face. Judy didn't say anything to it, didn't start any banter, or flirt, but also didn't seem to react negatively.</p><p> </p><p>"So where's Simon?"</p><p> </p><p>"He needed to talk to some more important people."</p><p> </p><p>"Ah networking." Jen glanced at Judy, seeing a slight disappointment on her face. Maybe she missed Simon after all.</p><p> </p><p>"Shouldn't you be doing that too?"</p><p> </p><p>"I fucking hate networking." Jen shivered just at the thought of having to talk to a human being who wasn't Judy or Christopher.</p><p> </p><p>"You would. Doesn't really seem like your thing." Judy teased her with a small smile that still had a sadness to it, making Jen annoyed at how affected she was by the emotion.</p><p> </p><p>"No shit." She spat out, before looking over at a group of people laughing, just to fixate on something and let her thoughts flow. "I'm sorry that Simon bailed on you, though."</p><p> </p><p>"Don't be."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh and here I was under the impression that you thought he was vulnerable as fuck."</p><p> </p><p>"I never said that. It was you who said that he cries after sex and I just said that it shows vulnerability." Judy noted.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"I..." For a moment Jen thought she was going to just say she cried after sex, but there was a limit to what she would do for Judy so she was just silent for a moment. "Yeah I don’t know what I was trying to prove. Kind of a jerk move from my part to talk shit about him like that." Jen said, hoping Judy would take it earnestly, even if she only meant it because she didn’t want Judy to be annoyed with her.</p><p> </p><p>"He was really fucking annoying though."</p><p> </p><p>"I know! He's so fucking pretentious and just complaining constantly about how his mansion isn't the exact fucking shade of beige he wanted. What a prick."</p><p> </p><p>"It's like truly unbearable."</p><p> </p><p>The two of them laugh.</p><p> </p><p>"You know if you would've just given me a sign I would have rescued you from that asshole."</p><p> </p><p>"And you would have done what? Punch him? Because I doubt Lorna wants her party to end with a bar fight."</p><p> </p><p>"No... of course not." She would have. " I could've just... I could've just told him to get his hands of my date. Create a little bit of light drama."</p><p> </p><p>"I don't remember his hands being on me much." Judy squinted her eyes, trying to remember.</p><p> </p><p>"You could just play along for fucking once Judes." Jen took a deep breath.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm your date?" Judy perked up a bit whilst bringing it up, making Jen feel more nervous than necessary when asked a question she already knew the answer to. No. This was not a date. Judy's smile felt like she was teasing or trying to catch Jen in a lie.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah." Jen said at first, too tenderly, too quietly for it to come off as what she intended, which was a friend type of date of course. "Like as friends." She just added, not caring to ramble on, but aware that it still sounded like she was addressing the subtext of the situation directly. She looked away and yawned a bit. Judy yawned in return, making Jen turn to her.</p><p> </p><p>"Should we go home?"</p><p> </p><p>"No. The boys are there."</p><p> </p><p>"You don't like my kids?" Jen teased her, knowing it definitely wasn't what Judy had meant.</p><p> </p><p>"No I'm just saying that.. I like it sometimes when it's just us, we don’t have a lot of time for just the two of us. To talk like this."</p><p> </p><p>"I know. I like it too." Jen nodded, knowing exactly what the other woman meant.</p><p> </p><p>"So could we maybe like go out to the parking lot to smoke some pot and talk like old times." Judy grinned.</p><p> </p><p>"You have some on you?"</p><p> </p><p>"I never wear a dress without pockets. Come on Jen keep up with the times." Jen rolled her eyes, making Judy laugh.</p><p> </p><p>"Sounds like a deal then."</p><p> </p><p>While Judy was getting their coats, Jen headed over to Christopher.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Hey, me and Judy are leaving."</p><p> </p><p>"Together?"</p><p> </p><p>"I mean we fucking live together? So what do you expect?" Jen said, not really annoyed, just tired. "But not like that, we are going out to the parking lot to smoke and talk."</p><p> </p><p>"Good luck."</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, yeah. Good night Christopher." Jen leaned in to give him an awkward hug.</p><p> </p><p>"Night. Have fun you two lovebirds."</p><p> </p><p>Jen managed to show him both of her middle fingers on her way out.</p><p> </p><p>Judy was already outside waiting for her, and the two of them headed quickly to their car, to get the real party started.</p><p> </p><p>Within a few minutes, the two of them were having a very good time compared to Lorna's shitty party, and all they needed was some pot, a car, and each other. Jen gazed at Judy for a moment.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"This was a horrible party, honestly. Sorry I even invited you." Jen leaned back for a bit, still looking firmly at Judy, perhaps concentrating too much on her lips.</p><p> </p><p>"Why did you invite me?" Judy asked, genuinely intrigued.</p><p> </p><p>"I... I don’t know." Jen shrugged. "Ted was always too busy to come, not that I really minded, but I guess I thought it might be nice to bring someone for once. Since I..." Jen was looking at Judy, who was studying her intently, listening. "Since I have someone now....to invite."</p><p> </p><p>Judy gave her a head tilt and an adorable smile, and Jen just couldn't stand looking at her like this.</p><p> </p><p>"You'll always have me. Where ever you want me to go with you." Jen thought Judy was done so she made the mistake of looking her right in the eye as her last sentence rolled out, so softly, like it was too much to bare. "I'm all yours."</p><p> </p><p>And Jen was just looking at her, not saying anything, barely even thinking as she slowly registered the words into her brain, hearing them in her head over and over again. Jen opened her mouth to say something mean, to assert herself in this situation, feel less raw. But after a moment she just leaned into the vulnerability of Judy's gaze and smiled at her.</p><p> </p><p>"Well I'm glad to have you." Jen said, still smiling awkwardly as she took Judy's hand into her own. It must have laid there between them for a few minutes now, perhaps waiting to be held, since Judy lit up at the contact. After a few minutes of silence, Jen spoke up again, but didn't quite know where this was coming from. From the heart probably or some shit. "I really am you know."</p><p> </p><p>"You're what?" Judy turned to her, leaning a bit too close for Jen's liking.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm really happy to have you here." Jen leaned back peacefully, just letting go of the nervousness, or at least trying to. "You're probably the best thing to come out of this fucking mess of a life that I got really. You and the boys."</p><p> </p><p>"You were married for like what 20 years?"  Judy reminded her, clearly more amused than anything.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, definitely felt like fucking 20." Jen felt tired just thinking about the last years of their marriage.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah but you must have been happy at first though." Judy noted, trying to cheer Jen up.</p><p> </p><p>"Not really. I don't think I really knew what I wanted or what love even felt like for that matter."</p><p> </p><p>"You know now?" Judy asked, curious, but goddamn unreadable.</p><p> </p><p>"I..." Jen glanced quickly at Judy, hoping to not seem way too obvious. "I'm starting to."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh." Judy just said, and Jen could see her from the corner of her eye looking straight at her. She must have realized by now. "I guess it's better late than never, huh?" Judy said so nonchalantly that Jen was at a loss once again.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah I guess so." Jen just nodded looking at her lap, one hand on her thigh, and the other still holding Judy's instinctively.</p><p> </p><p>After a long silence between the two, Jen was almost certain that Judy had drifted to sleep. But she had to get a conclusion to this day so she spoke up regardless, partly hoping Judy would be too fast asleep to hear her and wouldn't stir awake at her voice.</p><p> </p><p>"This was meant to be a date." Jen just blurted out uncomfortably, still looking at her lonesome hand.</p><p> </p><p>"Huh?" Judy reacted immediately, opening her eyes and sitting up, still very sleepy.</p><p> </p><p>"Nothing." Jen just covered it up, feeling instant regret.</p><p> </p><p>"This was a date?" Judy just looked right at her, which made sense for such an intimate conversation but Jen had a hard time dealing with it.</p><p> </p><p>"I don't know." Jen just shrugged awkwardly. "Was it?"</p><p> </p><p>"You said earlier that this wasn't a date." Judy was confused, but seemed surprisingly calm about this. No big reaction, just slight confusion of the circumstances. "When Karen assumed it was." Judy cleared up, when Jen didn't seem to catch on.</p><p> </p><p>" I just..." Jen felt like she was cornered. "I kind of wanted it to be an unspoken thing. Just ours."</p><p> </p><p>"That ashamed of me huh?" Judy teased her, circling Jen's hand soothingly with her thumb.</p><p> </p><p>"No! No. I... didn't have the guts to just ask you in case you said no. I was hoping you could read the subtext."</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah I was reading the subtext just fine. You compared us to Christopher and his boyfriend. But then you were so insulted that Karen thought we were going on a date, that I thought I read wrong."</p><p> </p><p>"You didn't. I just chickened out."</p><p> </p><p>Judy thought about something for a bit, making Jen's nervousness grow.</p><p> </p><p>"So that stuff about Simon? You jealous?" Judy teased her with a smirk, making Jen's shoulders slump down a bit and the tension leave her body, Judy joking around made her feel comfortable again.</p><p> </p><p>"Simon is just annoying as fuck. Can't help it."</p><p> </p><p>"I don't know if it helps but I certainly annoyed him my fair share today by just talking about you for the past 2 hours. Turns out he isn't a fan."</p><p> </p><p>"What?"</p><p> </p><p>"I was just under the impression that this was a date and then you said it wasn't so I  kind of talked shit about you to Simon. Lovingly. Mostly about how annoyingly hot you're looking right now in that pantsuit."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh. I see." A blush creeped up to Jen's cheeks in response to the compliment, and she just sat still looking at Judy. "You look good too. Really good." Judy was leaning closer, fighting a smile, but once they were just an inch apart, she burst into light giggles, and Jen couldn't help but join her.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry." Judy looked up, still giggling but starting to calm down. "Just happy. And a bit high."</p><p> </p><p>"I know. Me too." Jen nodded, stealing a not so quick glance at Judy's lips. Judy's laughter quieted down and she was looking at Jen quietly, just waiting for something to happen perhaps, so Jen leaned in and crashed their lips together in an instant. They were struggling to stay on their seats, so Judy, not gracefully at all, stumbled onto Jen's lap. After some adjusting of this new position they were both back at it again.</p><p> </p><p>Jen made the mistake of opening her eyes and looking at something that wasn't Judy, and she recognized a familiar face walking by. Lorna. Who was looking judgmentally at the couple but hadn't quite registered who it was in the dark, until Jen pulled away and her face was no longer covered by Judy's. Judy turned to look at Lorna as well, confused about what had gotten Jen's attention. The monster in law was needless to say, horrified at the sight.</p><p> </p><p>"Should we pull the window down and-"</p><p> </p><p>"No, Judy! Are you kidding me?" Jen was pretty sure Lorna had nothing constructive to say about this. "She's going to kill us."</p><p> </p><p>"Should we go?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, let's go make out on some other parking lot."</p><p> </p><p>"Are you serious?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah do I sound like I'm joking?"</p><p> </p><p>"Huh, never imagined making out with you on a parking lot."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm full of surprises." Jen said, pulling away from Lorna, who could not believe they were just leaving. "And also you look really fucking hot in that dress, I'm not gonna wait until tomorrow."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh so it's my fault we're looking for a parking lot at midnight?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, shame on you." Jen laughed earning a light slap from Judy, that untangled their hands, but Judy brought her hand back into Jen's instantly, like that was where it was meant to be. Jen didn't point out that she might need that hand to drive, but drove quickly to the nearest parking knowing she would miss the contact too much if she pulled her hand away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>also like judy sitting on jens lap rights!<br/>will make sure that happens in all my fics from now on</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>